It Must go on

I know this is going to sound so cliche but I think to stop my own mind going absolutly crazy. I must start looking after me. I know thats wrong of my to say that given my current circumstances but I feel the time is right to kick start this attitude now.

There is no point in running around making everyone else happy when deep down inside you are as miserable as sin.

Heres to the future.

with a heavy heart I write this

As the title says.

I lost one of the most important men in my life today. What upsets me the most was I didnt get chance to say goodbye.

If there is one thing I took for granted as a child it was the fact that my father would always be there for me. Sitting here with litterally tears in my eyes as I write this, all I can say and I do know is he is going to be very very sorely missed.

I have regrets when it comes to my dad that we never actually spoke all that much but still had the same respect for each other always no matter how much of a bad choice I had made.

He had angina As did his father. He had died of two heart attacks and while the doctors tried to keep it constant they couldnt. He was admited on the 11/01 with chest pain and discharged that night. He was admitted again just after half past 8 where his situation got worse.

I have my memories and the photograph from when I was a toddler to keep with me but it wont be the same.

I want to give my thanks to all my friends who have passed on their best even though you might not think its much it means alot to me it geniunly does

I will leave you with this thought

Never take for granted those you love.